Separation is rarely straightforward, and the weeks and months that follow it can feel overwhelming — particularly when children are involved. One of the most important things you can do during this period, regardless of how the relationship between you and your former partner is right now, is to put a clear parenting plan in place.
A parenting plan doesn’t have to be a legal document. It doesn’t require a solicitor or a court order. It’s simply a practical agreement between two parents about how they’re going to raise their children going forward — covering where the children live, when they spend time with each parent, and how decisions about their lives will be made.
Done well, a parenting plan reduces conflict, provides children with certainty, and gives both parents a clear framework to work within. Done poorly — or not at all — it leaves everyone in a state of ongoing uncertainty that tends to generate conflict over time.
This article sets out what a good parenting plan looks like, how to approach creating one, and what to do when circumstances make cooperation difficult.
What Is a Parenting Plan?
A parenting plan is a written agreement between two parents that sets out the arrangements for their children following separation. It typically covers:
- Where the children will live and how much time they spend with each parent
- How holidays, birthdays, and special occasions will be handled
- How decisions about the children’s education, health, and welfare will be made
- How the parents will communicate with each other about the children
- What happens if one parent wants to make a change to the arrangements
Parenting plans are not automatically legally binding in England and Wales. However, they can be submitted to the court and made into a consent order if both parties agree — at which point they do carry legal weight.
Even without being legally formalised, a clear, written parenting plan provides a reference point that both parents can return to when disagreements arise — and they do arise, even in the most cooperative separations.
The article on child arrangement services vs informal agreements is worth reading for context on why putting things in writing — even informally — is almost always better than relying on verbal understandings.
Why a Parenting Plan Matters
For the children
Children who know what to expect — who understand when they’ll see each parent, where they’ll be sleeping each week, and how the big moments in their life will be shared — cope significantly better with parental separation than those left in ongoing uncertainty.
A parenting plan gives children that predictability. It also, importantly, sends a signal that their parents are capable of working together for their sake — even if the relationship between the adults has broken down. Research consistently shows that it is not separation itself that most damages children, but the ongoing conflict that can follow it. A practical parenting plan is one of the most effective tools for keeping that conflict manageable.
The article on how child arrangement services help reduce conflict between parents looks at this in more detail and is a useful companion read to this guide.
For the parents
A good parenting plan also protects both parents. It creates a clear record of what was agreed, which prevents misunderstandings from escalating into disputes. It reduces the number of day-to-day decisions that require negotiation — which, in turn, reduces the number of opportunities for conflict.
Perhaps most importantly, it means that both parents know where they stand. That clarity, even in a difficult situation, is genuinely valuable.
What to Include in a Parenting Plan
Day-to-day living arrangements
The foundation of any parenting plan is a clear description of where the children will live and when they’ll be with each parent. This should be specific enough to be unambiguous — “every other weekend” is less useful than “from Friday after school until Sunday at 5pm on alternate weeks.”
Think through the practical logistics: who collects the children from school? Where does handover happen? What happens during school holidays? The more detail you include at this stage, the fewer questions arise later.
Holidays and special occasions
Holidays, birthdays, Christmas, Easter, and school half-terms all need to be specifically addressed. It’s worth thinking through the whole year and agreeing in advance how each significant date will be handled.
Common approaches include alternating Christmas between parents each year, each parent having the children on their own birthday, and dividing the summer holidays into two blocks. Whatever you agree, write it down clearly so there’s no room for different interpretations when the occasion arrives.
Decision-making
Where both parents have parental responsibility — which is the case for most separated parents — major decisions about the children’s lives need to be made jointly. This includes decisions about education (which school a child attends, for example), medical treatment, and religion.
Your parenting plan should address how these decisions will be made in practice. Do you agree to consult each other before making any significant change? How will you handle it if you can’t agree? Who has the authority to make day-to-day decisions when the children are in their care?
Communication between parents
How you communicate with each other as parents matters enormously — both for your own wellbeing and for the children’s experience. Your parenting plan should set out a preferred method of communication (many separated parents find email or a dedicated co-parenting app works well), how quickly each parent should respond to messages about the children, and what topics are and aren’t appropriate to raise in front of the children.
If communication between you is currently very difficult, the article on how child arrangement services work alongside mediation explores how professional support can help create a framework for communication even when direct cooperation feels out of reach.
What happens if things change
Life changes. Jobs move. Relationships develop. Children’s needs shift. Your parenting plan should include a process for reviewing and adjusting the arrangements over time — ideally, a commitment to review the plan together at regular intervals (annually, for example) or when a significant change in circumstances occurs.
Building in a review process from the start normalises the idea that the plan will evolve, and reduces the friction that can come from one parent feeling that the other is trying to change the goalposts.
How to Create a Parenting Plan
When cooperation is possible
If you and your former partner are on reasonable terms, creating a parenting plan together — with or without professional help — is entirely achievable. Organisations such as the Child Maintenance Service and the government’s own Parenting Plan tool (available through the GOV.UK website) provide templates and guidance to help structure the conversation.
If you want to involve a professional to help facilitate the discussion without going to court, a mediator can help. Mediation is a process in which an independent professional helps both parties reach an agreement. It’s generally less adversarial, less costly, and quicker than court proceedings, and courts in England and Wales actively encourage it as a first step.
For families in Greater Manchester and Cheshire, private child contact supervision Cheshire and professional services like CAR can operate alongside mediation — providing the structured contact arrangements that give a parenting plan its practical backbone.
When things are more difficult
Not every separation produces a cooperative co-parenting relationship. If there is significant conflict between you, a history of abuse, or simply an inability to agree on arrangements, you may need more formal support.
In these situations, your options include seeking advice from a family law solicitor, attending mediation, making an application to the family court for a Child Arrangements Order, or accessing the support of a professional child contact service to provide structure while longer-term arrangements are worked out.
The article on child arrangement services after separation: a guide is a useful resource if you’re at the earlier stages of this process and trying to understand what the options are.
When a Child Contact Service Fits Into the Picture
A parenting plan sets out what will happen. A child contact service helps ensure that it does.
For families where contact is supervised — whether voluntarily or by court order — a professional provider like Child Arrangement Resolutions adds the practical structure and professional documentation that a parenting plan on its own cannot provide. Sessions are observed, session logs are completed, and formal reports can be produced where needed.
This is particularly valuable where trust between parents is low, where there are safeguarding concerns, or where the contact arrangement is new and both parents need reassurance that things are being managed properly.
If you’re a mother navigating separation and trying to put safe, documented arrangements in place, the Child Arrangement Services for Mothers page has information specifically relevant to your situation. For fathers in the same position, the Child Arrangement Services for Separated Parents page and the Court Ordered Child Contact Services for Separated Parents page cover the relevant options in detail.
If you work in a professional environment that requires particular flexibility in how sessions are scheduled — for example, if you’re self-employed or work variable hours — the page on child supervised contact services for accountants Manchester gives a sense of how arrangements can be adapted.
A Note on High-Conflict Separations
If your separation has been, or continues to be, particularly acrimonious, it’s worth being honest with yourself about whether a straightforward parenting plan is sufficient — or whether you need a higher level of professional support to make things safe and manageable.
In high-conflict situations, informal agreements tend to break down because one or both parties don’t adhere to them, or because every deviation from the plan becomes a source of fresh conflict. A more formalised arrangement — whether through a court order, a consent order, or a professionally supervised contact arrangement — provides a clearer framework that is harder to dispute.
The article on child arrangement services for high conflict cases is specifically aimed at families in this position and sets out what additional support is available.
If you’re looking for child supervised contact Manchester as part of a wider arrangement designed to manage a high-conflict separation safely, CAR has extensive experience in exactly this kind of case.
FAQs
Does a parenting plan have to be approved by a court?
No. A parenting plan is a private agreement between two parents and doesn’t need court approval to be valid. However, if you want it to be legally enforceable, you can apply to the court to have it made into a consent order. Your solicitor can advise on whether this is worth doing in your specific situation.
What if the other parent refuses to stick to the parenting plan?
If the plan is not a court order, your options are more limited — you can seek to renegotiate, attend mediation, or apply to the court for a Child Arrangements Order. If it is a court order and is being breached, you can apply to the court to enforce it. The article on what happens if a parent breaches a court-ordered arrangement covers this in more detail.
At what age do children get a say in the arrangements?
There is no fixed age in England and Wales at which a child’s views become decisive. The court considers children’s views alongside their welfare — the older and more mature the child, the more weight their views carry. A CAFCASS officer may speak with the child as part of any assessment.
Can a parenting plan include supervised contact?
Yes. A parenting plan can specify that contact will take place under professional supervision for a defined period, with a review built in. If you’re considering this, child supervised contact services for fathers and equivalent services for other parents are available through CAR.
Should both parents see a solicitor before agreeing a parenting plan?
It’s generally advisable, particularly if there are complex issues around finances, housing, or parental responsibility that need to be resolved alongside the contact arrangements. A solicitor can ensure that the plan you agree protects your interests and your child’s wellbeing.
Where can I find out more about how child contact services support parenting arrangements?
The FAQs page on the CAR website is a good starting point, and the Supervised Visitation page covers one of the key service options available to families.
Start Building a Plan That Works for Your Family
If you’re ready to put a practical, workable parenting plan in place — or if you need professional support to make contact arrangements happen safely — Child Arrangement Resolutions is here to help.
CAR works with families, solicitors, and other professionals across Greater Manchester, Cheshire, and Merseyside, providing child-focused contact services that give parenting plans their practical foundation.
Contact the team today to find out how CAR can support your family through this process.
